What to Do When You Don’t Reach A Goal

Goal.jpg

Hey Gorgeous,

When the same topic comes up with multiple women I know it’s something I need to write about. 

So today’s topic is all about what to do when you don’t reach a goal.

There are a couple of different pathways we can go here.  I’m going to focus today’s post more on the goals you have the most direct ‘authority’ over, versus the ones in which others play a major part of the outcome.  

For example, a goal you have more direct authority over is losing 10 pounds by summer.

An example of a goal in which others play a major part of the outcome is not getting the promotion you applied for.  Not reaching these types of goals usually involves disappointment of a different nature than what we’ll talk about today.

Not hitting a goal you have more direct authority over is a great time for reflection and recalibration.  

Take time to center yourself in a quiet spot, grab your journal, and ask yourself:

“Was this a goal I REALLY wanted to reach?”  

I mean, REALLY, as in from the depths of your soul…was this goal an absolute MUST for you?  

If your answer to this is “no”, this goal wasn’t a priority. And the things that aren’t a priority don’t get the planning, intention, time and resources to make it a reality.  

So if you find yourself not reaching a goal that wasn’t an absolute must for you to reach, give yourself a break and eliminate this goal from your list.  You’ll regain your energy and open yourself up to go after goals that are real priorities instead.

If your answer is “yes”, this goal was/is/needs to be a MUST HAVE for you, then take a look at the following:

  • Did you have a robust and fun action plan to achieve the goal?
  • Did you have the right support around you to achieve the goal?
  • Did you allocate the right amount of time towards achieving the goal?
  • Were there some missteps along the way that you have learned from?
  • Are you ensuring that your femininity stays intact as you pursue this goal?

“Was this a goal I really wanted to reach?”

Think this is the same question as the first?  It’s not. Notice the emphasis here. “I.” As in “you.”  Not your spouse. Not your mother. Not the voice inside your head that tells you you ‘should’ do this or that.

Things we feel we ‘should’ do, or worse yet, that others tell us we should do but that we’re not excited about, are about as much fun as an enema.  I mean really. It’s hard to muster up the energy and momentum for something you’re not excited about or that others are telling you you should do.

In dealing with ‘shoulds’ from others, set strong boundaries and have whatever necessary conversation you need to have with the other person to reset expectations.  

If this goal was really one you wanted to reach, the following questions will help you get clear on how to move forward.

Was this goal a MUST or just a “it would be nice if…” goal?  

See the section above for support with MUST HAVE goals.

If it’s a “it would be nice if…” kind of thing, well, that’s really more akin to wishful thinking rather than a true goal.  Either move it to MUST HAVE status or let it go.

Was this goal an ‘over-reach’?

Goals that are an ‘over-reach’ are ones that are entirely too large to achieve in the timeframe you set.  If your answer to this is a “yes” then recalibrate your goal to more be a more realistic stretch for you.

Is there something else going on?  

Sometimes a goal is a “must” but the timing may not be right, there may be other extenuating circumstances at play, or other factors to be considered that simply can’t be covered in an 710 word-count blog post.  

However, going back to the drawing board, searching your heart for what you truly desire, putting an action plan together, and taking inspired action with support will help you move forward in the direction of your desires.  

Much love,

Cassandra

Cassandra Shepard